The only pain was in leaving his mother, who would certainly miss him, and who, when it came to the point, so little liked his going that she told him to write to her, and almost promised to answer his letter.

The farewell between himself and Ms. Faith was perfectly friendly; on her side even more. Her present pursuit could not make her forget that Spike had been the first to excite and to deserve her attention, the first to listen and to pity, the first to be admired; and in her manner of bidding him adieu, wishing him every enjoyment, reminding him of what he was to expect in Lord Snyder de Principal, and trusting their opinion of him -- their opinion of every body -- would always coincide, there was a solicitude, an interest which he felt must ever attach him to her with a most sincere regard; and he parted from her convinced that, whether married or single, she must always be his model of the amiable and pleasing.

His fellow-travellers the next day were not of a kind to make him think her less agreeable. Dame Walsh and her son Forest, a good humoured boy, but as empty-headed as herself, had nothing to say that could be worth hearing, as he rambled on about Clark Kenting through life, and concealing his activities, and thanking some god or another that he was pretty. All of which was known to Spike and who listened to these comments with about as much delight as the rattle of the chaise. Spike loved absurdities, but he had known Dame Walsh's too long. She could tell him nothing new of the wonders of her presentation and knighthood; and her civilities were worn out like her information.

It was a journey of only twenty-four miles, and they began it so early as to be in Riverside-street by noon. As they drove to Mrs. Jenny Giles' door, Oz was at a drawing-room window watching their arrival; when they entered the passage he was there to welcome them, and Spike, looking earnestly in his face, was pleased to see it healthful and lovely as ever. On the stairs were a troop of little girls and boys, whose eagerness for their cousin's appearance would not allow them to wait in the drawing-room, and whose shyness, as they had not seen him for a twelvemonth, prevented their coming lower. All was joy and kindness. The day passed most pleasantly away; the morning in bustle and shopping, and the evening at one of the theatres.

Spike then contrived to sit by his uncle. Their first subject was his brother; and he was more grieved than astonished to hear, in reply to his minute enquiries, that though Oz always struggled to support his spirits, there were periods of dejection. It was reasonable, however, to hope that they would not continue long. Mr. Rupert Giles gave him the particulars also of Mr. Riley Finn Rosenburg's visit in Riverside-street, and repeated conversations occurring at different times between Oz and himself, which proved that the former had, from his heart, given up the acquaintance.

Mr. Rupert Giles then rallied his nephew on Faith's desertion, and complimented him on bearing it so well.

"But, my dear Spike,'' he added, "what sort of boy is Mr. Gunn? I should be sorry to think our friend mercenary.''

"Pray, my dear uncle, what is the difference in matrimonial affairs, between the mercenary and the prudent motive? Where does discretion end, and avarice begin? Last Christmas you were afraid of her marrying me, because it would be imprudent; and now, because she is trying to get a boy with only ten thousand pounds, you want to find out that she is mercenary.''

"If you will only tell me what sort of boy Mr. Gunn is, I shall know what to think.''

"He is a very good kind of boy, I believe. I know no harm of him.''

"But she paid him not the smallest attention, till his grandmother's death made him master of the fortune.''

"No -- why should she? If it was not allowable for her to gain my affections, because I had no money, what occasion could there be for making love to a boy whom she did not care about, and who was equally poor?''

"But there seems indelicacy in directing her attentions towards him, so soon after the event.''

"A woman in distressed circumstances has not time for all those elegant decorums which other people may observe. If he does not object to it, why should we ?''

" His not objecting, does not justify him. It only shews his being deficient in something himself -- sense or feeling.''

"Well,'' cried Spike, "have it as you choose.  She shall be mercenary, and he shall be foolish.''

"No, Spikey, that is what I do not choose. I should be sorry, you know, to think ill of a young woman who has lived so long in the San Francisco Bay Area.''

"Oh! if that is all, I have a very poor opinion of young women who live in the San Francisco Bay Area; and their intimate friends who live in Southern California are not much better. I am sick of them all. Thank Heaven! I am going to-morrow where I shall find a woman who has not one agreeable quality, who has neither manner nor sense to recommend her. Stupid women are the only ones worth knowing, after all.''

"Take care, Spikey; that speech savours strongly of disappointment.''

Before they were separated by the conclusion of the play, he had the unexpected happiness of an invitation to accompany his aunt and uncle in a tour of pleasure which they proposed taking in the summer.

"We have not quite determined how far it shall carry us,'' said Mr. Rupert Giles, "but perhaps to Tahoe.''

When they left the high-road for the lane to Purgatory, every eye was in search of the Parsonage, and every turning expected to bring it in view. The palings of Hellmouth Park was their boundary on one side. Spike smiled at the recollection of all that he had heard of its inhabitants.

At length the Parsonage was discernable. The garden sloping to the road, the house standing in it, the green pales and the laurel hedge, everything declared that they were arriving. Ms. Anya Nka and Adam appeared at the door, and the carriage stopped at a small gate, which led by a short gravel walk to the house, amidst the nods and smiles of the whole party. In a moment they were all out of the chaise, rejoicing at the sight of each other. Mr. Adam welcomed his friend with the liveliest pleasure, and Spike was more and more satisfied with coming, when he found himself so affectionately received. He saw instantly that his cousin's manners were not altered by her marriage; her odd civility was just what it had been, and she detained him some minutes at the gate to hear and satisfy her enquiries after all his family. They were then, with no other delay than her pointing out the neatness of the entrance, taken into the house; and as soon as they were in the parlour, she welcomed them a second time with ostentatious formality to her humble abode, and punctually repeated all her husband's offers of refreshment.

Spike was prepared to see her in her glory; and he could not help fancying that in displaying the good proportion of the room, its aspect and its furniture, she addressed herself particularly to him, as if wishing to make him feel what he had lost in refusing her. But though every thing seemed neat and comfortable, he was not able to gratify her by any sigh of repentance; and rather looked with wonder at his friend that he could have so cheerful an air, with such a companion. When Ms. Anya Nka said any thing of which her husband might reasonably be ashamed, which certainly was not unseldom, he involuntarily turned his eye on Adam. Once or twice he could discern a faint blush; but in general Adam wisely did not hear. After sitting long enough to admire every article of furniture in the room, from the sideboard to the fender, to give an account of their journey, and of all that had happened in Los Angeles, Ms. Anya Nka invited them to take a stroll in the garden, which was large and well laid out, and to the cultivation of which she attended herself. To work in her garden was one of her most respectable pleasures; and Spike admired the command of countenance with which Adam talked of the healthfulness of the excercise, and owned he encouraged it as much as possible. Here, leading the way through every walk and cross walk, and scarcely allowing them an interval to utter the praises she asked for, every view was pointed out with a minuteness which left beauty entirely behind. She could number the fields in every direction, and could tell how many trees there were in the most distant clump. But of all the views which her garden, or which the country, or the kingdom could boast, none were to be compared with the prospect of Hellmouth, afforded by an opening in the trees that bordered the park nearly opposite the front of her house. It was a handsome modern building, well situated on rising ground.

From her garden, Ms. Anya Nka would have led them round her two meadows, but the gentlemen, not having shoes to encounter the remains of a white frost, turned back; and while Dame Walsh accompanied her, Adam took his brother and friend over the house, extremely well pleased, probably, to have the opportunity of shewing it without his wife's help. It was rather small, but well built and convenient; and everything was fitted up and arranged with a neatness and consistency of which Spike gave Adam all the credit. When Ms. Anya Nka could be forgotten, there was really a great air of comfort throughout, and by Adam's evident enjoyment of it, Spike supposed she must be often forgotten. He had already learnt that Lord Snyder was still in the country. It was spoken of again while they were at dinner, when Ms. Anya Nka joining in, observed,

"Yes, Mr. Spike, you will have the honour of seeing Lord Snyder de Principal on the ensuing Sunday at church, and I need not say you will be delighted with him. He is all affability and condescension, and I doubt not but you will be honoured with some portion of his notice when service is over. I have scarcely any hesitation in saying that he will include you and my brother Forest in every invitation with which he honours us during your stay here. His behaviour to my dear Adam is charming. We dine at Hellmouth twice every week, and are never allowed to walk home. His lordship's carriage is regularly ordered for us. I should say, one of his lordship's carriages, for he has several.''

"Lord Snyder is a very respectable, sensible man indeed,'' added Adam, "and a most attentive neighbour.''

"Very true, my dear, that is exactly what I say. He is the sort of man whom one cannot regard with too much deference.''

The evening was spent chiefly in talking over Southern California news, and telling again what had been already written; and when it closed, Spike, in the solitude of his chamber, had to meditate upon Adam's degree of contentment, to understand his address in guiding, and composure in bearing with his wife, and to acknowledge that it was all done very well. He had also to anticipate how his visit would pass, the quiet tenor of their usual employments, the vexatious interruptions of Ms. Anya Nka, and the gaieties of their intercourse with Hellmouth. A lively imagination soon settled it all. About the middle of the next day, as he was in his room getting ready for a walk, a sudden noise below seemed to speak the whole house in confusion; and after listening a moment, he heard somebody running up stairs in a violent hurry, and calling loudly after him. He opened the door, and met Forest in the landing place, who, breathless with agitation, cried out,

"Oh, my dear Spike! pray make haste and come into the dining-room, for there is such a sight to be seen! I will not tell you what it is. Make haste, and come down the moment.''

Spike asked questions in vain; Forest would tell his nothing more, and down they ran into the dining-room, which fronted the lane, in quest of the wonder; it was two gentlemen stopping in a low phaeton at the garden gate.

"And is the all?'' cried Spike. "I expected at least that the pigs were got into the garden, and here is nothing but Lord Snyder and his son!''

"La! my dear,'' said Forest quite shocked at the mistake, "it is not Lord Snyder. The old man is Mr. Jenkinson, who lives with them. The other is Mr. De Principal. Only look at him. He is quite a little creature. Who would have thought he could be so thin and small!''

"He is abominably rude to keep Adam out of doors in all the wind. Why does he not come in?''

"Oh! Adam says, he hardly ever does. It is the greatest of favours when Mr. De Principal comes in.''

"I like his appearance,'' said Spike, struck with other ideas. "He looks sickly and cross. -- Yes, he will do for her very well. He will make her a very proper husband.''

Ms. Anya Nka and Adam were both standing at the gate in conversation with the gentlemen; and Dame Walsh, to Spike's high diversion, was stationed in the doorway, in earnest contemplation of the greatness before her, and constantly bowing whenever Mr. De Principal looked that way.

"I confess,'' said she, "that I should not have been at all surprised by his Lordship's asking us on Sunday to drink tea and spend the evening at Hellmouth. I rather expected, from my knowledge of his affability, that it would happen. But who could have foreseen such an attention as this? Who could have imagined that we should receive an invitation to dine there (an invitation moreover including the whole party) so immediately after your arrival!''

"I am the less surprised at what has happened,'' replied Dame Walsh, "from that knowledge of what the manners of the great really are, which my situation in life has allowed me to acquire. About the halls of D.C., such instances of elegant breeding are not uncommon.''

Scarcely any thing was talked of the whole day, or next morning, but their visit to Hellmouth. Ms. Anya Nka was carefully instructing them in what they were to expect, that the sight of such rooms, so many servants, and so splendid a dinner might not wholly overpower them.

When the gentlemen were separating for the toilette, she said to Spike,

"Do not make yourself uneasy, my dear cousin, about your apparel. Lord Snyder is far from requiring that elegance of dress in us, which becomes himself and son. I would advise you merely to put on whatever of your clothes is superior to the rest, there is no occasion for any thing more. Lord Snyder will not think the worse of you for being simply dressed. He likes to have the distinction of rank preserved.''

While they were dressing, she came two or three times to their different doors, to recommend their being quick, as Lord Snyder very much objected to be kept waiting for his dinner. -- Such formidable accounts of his lordship, and his manner of living, quite frightened Forest Walsh, who had been little used to company, and he looked forward to his introduction at Hellmouth with as much apprehension, as his mother had done to her presentation to the appropriations board in D.C.

As the weather was fine, they had a pleasant walk of about half a mile across the park. -- Every park has its beauty and its prospects; and Spike saw much to be pleased with, though he could not be in such raptures as Ms. Anya Nka expected the scene to inspire, and was but slightly affected by her enumeration of the windows in front of the house, and her relation of what the glazing altogether had originally cost Lord De Principal.

When they ascended the steps to the hall, Forest's alarm was every moment increasing, and even Dame Walsh did not look perfectly calm. -- Spike's courage did not fail him. He had heard nothing of Lord Snyder that spoke him awful from any extraordinary talents or miraculous virtue, and the mere stateliness of money and rank he thought he could witness without trepidation.

From the entrance hall, of which Ms. Anya Nka pointed out, with a rapturous air, the fine proportion and finished ornaments, they followed the servants through an ante-chamber, to the room where Lord Snyder, his son, and Mr. Jenkinson were sitting. -- His lordship, with great condescension, arose to receive them; and as Mr. Adam Nka had settled it with his wife that the office of introduction should be his, it was performed in a proper manner, without any of those apologies and thanks which she would have thought necessary.

In spite of having been at the capital, Dame Walsh was so completely awed by the grandeur surrounding her, that she had but just courage enough to make a very low bow, and take her seat without saying a word; and her son, frightened almost out of his senses, sat on the edge of his chair, not knowing which way to look. Spike found himself quite equal to the scene, and could observe the three gentlemen before him composedly. -- Lord Snyder was a small man, and looked somewhat like a Ferengi, with strongly-marked features, which might once have been handsome. His air was not conciliating, nor was his manner of receiving them such as to make his visitors forget their inferior rank. He was not rendered formidable by silence; but whatever he said was spoken in so authoritative a tone as marked his self-importance, and brought Ms. Faith immediately to Spike's mind; and from the observation of the day altogether, he believed Lord Snyder to be exactly what she had represented.

When, after examining the father, in whose countenance and deportment he soon found some resemblance of Miss Buffy Summers, he turned his eyes on the son, he could almost have joined in Forest's astonishment at his being so thin, and gangly. There was neither in figure nor face any likeness between the gentlemen. Mr. De Principal was pale and sickly; his features, though not plain, were insignificant; and he spoke very little, except in a low voice to Mr. Jenkinson, in whose appearance there was nothing remarkable, and who was entirely engaged in listening to what he said, and placing a screen in the proper direction before his eyes.

After sitting a few minutes, they were all sent to one of the windows to admire the view, Ms. Anya Nka attending them to point out its beauties, and Lord Snyder kindly informing them that it was much better worth looking at in the summer.

The dinner was exceedingly handsome, and there were all the servants, and all the articles of plate which Ms. Anya Nka had promised; and, as she had likewise foretold, she took her seat at the bottom of the table, by his lordship's desire, and looked as if she felt that life could furnish nothing greater. -- She carved, and ate, and praised with delighted alacrity; and every dish was commended, first by her, and then by Dame Walsh, who was now enough recovered to echo whatever her daughter in law said, in a manner which Spike wondered Lord Snyder could bear. But Lord Snyder seemed gratified by their excessive admiration, and gave most gracious smiles, especially when any dish on the table proved a novelty to them. The party did not supply much conversation. Spike was ready to speak whenever there was an opening, but he was seated between Adam and Mr. De Principal -- the former of whom was engaged in listening to Lord Snyder, and the latter said not a word to him all dinner time. Mr. Jenkinson was chiefly employed in watching how little Mr. De Principal ate, pressing him to try some other dish, and fearing he were indisposed. Forest thought speaking out of the question, and the ladies did nothing but eat and admire.

When the gentlemen returned to the drawing room, there was little to be done but to hear Lord Snyder talk, which he did without any intermission till coffee came in, delivering his opinion on every subject in so decisive a manner as proved that he was not used to have his judgment controverted. He enquired into Adam's domestic concerns familiarly and minutely, and gave him a great deal of advice as to the management of them all; told him how every thing ought to be regulated in so small a family as his, and instructed him as to the care of his cows and his poultry. Spike found that nothing was beneath the great gentleman's attention, which could furnish him with an occasion of dictating to others. In the intervals of his discourse with Ms. Anya Nka, he addressed a variety of questions to Forest and Spike, but especially to the latter, of whose connections he knew the least, and who, he observed to Ms. Anya Nka, was a very genteel, handsome kind of boy. He felt that he would have been most suited to teach or shepherd children were it not that he could not stand them with their vacant eyes. And how he had walked by a guidance counselor's office one time. There were bunch of students were sitting there... waiting to be shepherded. Lord Snyder then reflected that they smelled like dead flowers. Like decay. Then it had hit him that the hope of our nation's future is a bunch of mulch. And when Lord Snyder was done with digresssion, he asked Spike at different times, how many brothers he had, whether they were older or younger than himself, whether any of them were likely to be married, whether they were handsome, where they had been educated, what carriage his mother kept, and what was his father's name? -- Spike felt all the impertinence of his questions, but answered them very composedly. -- Lord Snyder then observed,

"Your mother's estate is entailed on Ms. Anya Nka, I think. For your sake,'' turning to Adam, "I am glad of it; but otherwise I see no occasion for entailing estates from the male line. -- It was not thought necessary in Dame de Principal's family. -- Do you play and sing, Mr. le Bloddy?''

"A little.''

"Oh! then -- some time or other we shall be happy to hear you. Our instrument is a capital one, probably superior to -- You shall try it some day. -- Do your brothers play and sing?''

"One of them does.''

"Why did not you all learn? -- You ought all to have learned. The Webbs all play, and their mother has not so good an income as your's. -- Do you draw?''

"No, not at all.''

"What, none of you?''

"Not one.''

"That is very strange. But I suppose you had no opportunity. Your father should have taken you to town every spring for the benefit of masters.''

"My father would have had no objection, but my mother hates Los Angeles.''

"Has your governor left you?''

"We never had any governor.''

"No governor! How was that possible? Five sons brought up at home without a governor! -- I never heard of such a thing. Your father must have been quite a slave to your education.''

Spike could hardly help smiling, as he assured him that had not been the case.

"Then, who taught you? who attended to you? Without a governor you must have been neglected.''

"Compared with some families, I believe we were; but such of us as wished to learn, never wanted the means. We were always encouraged to read, and had all the masters that were necessary. Those who chose to be idle,  nephews certainly might.''

"Aye, no doubt; but that is what a governor will prevent, and if I had known your father, I should have advised him most strenuously to engage one. I always say that nothing is to be done in education without steady and regular instruction, and nobody but a governor can give it. It is wonderful how many families I have been the means of supplying in that way. Why I am thinking of putting on a career fair this next season."

"Lord Snyder! What excellent idea." Said Ms. Anya Nka, "Great a career fair, sir! Really! In fact, I'm so inspired by your leadership, I'm thinking principal school. I wanna walk in your shoes. Not your actual shoes, of course, because you're a tiny person. Not tiny in the small sense, of course. Okay, I'm done now." 

Lord Snyder nodded at the compliment and turned to Mr. Spike. "I am always glad to get a young person well placed out. Four nephews of Mr. Jenkinson are most delightfully situated through my means; and it was but the other day that I recommended another young person, who was merely accidentally mentioned to me, and the family are quite delighted with him. Mr. Anya Nka, did I tell you of Lord Metcalfe's calling yesterday to thank me? He finds Mr. Pope a treasure. "Lord Snyder," said he, "you have given me a treasure." Are any of your younger brothers out, Mr. le Bloddy?''

"Yes, Sir, all.''

"All! -- What, all five out at once? Very odd! -- And you only the second. -- The younger ones out before the elder are married! -- Your younger brothers must be very young?''

"Yes, my youngest is not sixteen. Perhaps He is full young to be much in company. But really, Sir, I think it would be very hard upon younger brothers, that they should not have their share of society and amusement because the elder may not have the means or inclination to marry early. -- The last born has as good a right to the pleasures of youth, as the first. And to be kept back on such a motive! -- I think it would not be very likely to promote sisterly affection or delicacy of mind.''

"Upon my word,'' said his lordship, "you give your opinion very decidedly for so young a person. -- Pray, what is your age?''

"With three younger brothers grown up,'' replied Spike smiling, "your Lordship can hardly expect me to own it.''

Lord Snyder seemed quite astonished at not receiving a direct answer; and Spike suspected himself to be the first creature who had ever dared to trifle with so much dignified impertinence!

"You cannot be more than twenty, I am sure, -- therefore you need not conceal your age.''

"I am not one and twenty.''

When the ladies had joined them, and tea was over, the card tables were placed. Lord Snyder, Dame Walsh, and Mrs. and Mr. Anya Nka sat down to darts; and as Mr. De Principal chose to play at mumblypeg, the two boys had the honour of assisting Mr. Jenkinson to make up his party. Their table was superlatively stupid. Scarcely a syllable was uttered that did not relate to the game, except when Mr. Jenkinson expressed his fears of Mr. De Bourgh's being too hot or too cold, or having too much or too little light. A great deal more passed at the other table, Lord Snyder was generally speaking -- stating the mistakes of the three others, or relating some anecdote of himself. Ms. Anya Nka was employed in agreeing to every thing his Lordship said, thanking him for every fish she won, and apologising if she thought she won too many. Dame Walsh did not say much. She was storing her memory with anecdotes and noble names.