[Enter Buffybot]

Helloooo, hellooo, is anyone here?

[Exit Buffybot]

[Enter Angelus]

O, why should wrath be mute, and fury dumb?
I am no baby, I, that with base prayers
I should repent the evils I have done:
Ten thousand worse than ever yet I did
Would I perform, if I might have my will;
If one good deed in all my life I did,
I do repent it from my very soul.

[Enter Xander of Oxnard and Anyanka]

Why man, you doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus, and we petty vamps
Walk under you huge legs, and peep about,
How kind, how generous,
you brought me lunch
And such a pretty lunch it is too.

What do we leave the town,
Only to be followed by mad men in the wood?

Your betters have endured me say my mind,
And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
Or better use then I shall rip them off,
My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
Or else my heart concealing it will break,
And rather than it shall, I will be free
Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words
In deeds, in acts as black as blackest night.

That’s much better.

And I saw an angel come down from heaven, having the key of the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand.
And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years, and since you’re the ugliest demon around, you must have my key.

You foolish wench, wherefore do you follow rail at me,
Like foggy south puffing with wind and rain?
I have not your key

Can I say one thing? HELLLLPPP!

Yeah, err, verily, that was quick-eth, err.

A blank, never telling love,
But let concealment, like a worm i' the bud,
Feed on false damsel cheek: pined in thought,
And with a green and yellow melancholy
Sit like patience on a monument,
Smiling at grief. Is not this love indeed?
She looks as freshly as the day we wrestled,
These may well be called Jove’s trees when it drops forth such fruit

So, you may put a man in your belly,

but not in good faith.
Men are best at exit lines, not vows,
For they are always making to remove.

[Alarums, fighting]

Had I been seized by a hungry lion,
I would have been a breakfast to the beast,
Rather than have false Angelus met.
O, Heaven be judge how I love Angel,
Whose life's as tender to me as my soul!
And full as much, for more there cannot be,
I do detest false perjured Angelus.
Therefore be gone; solicit me no more,
Why sit you so silent, speak.

And it is, it is a glorious thing To be a Vengeance Demon!

It is! Hurrah for the Vengeance Demon!
Hurrah for the Vengeance Demon!

When I sally forth to seek my prey I help myself in a royal way.
I sink a few more relation-ships, it's true,
Than a well-bred monarch ought to do;
But many a demon with a first-class wish,
If she wants to call his amulet her own,
Must manage somehow to get through
More dirty work than e'er I do,
For I am a Vengeance Demon!!
And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Vengeance Demon!!
For I am a Vengeance Demon!!
And, well, listen honey if he done you wrong.
Make a wish and make it right.

When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes
You all alone beweep your outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with bootless cries
What then do you have?

[Buffy kicks Angelus, who falls over]

[Alarums, Wesley, Faith, Adam, Glory, and minions fight, Enter Spike and Vamp Xander]

You have done me much ungentleness

Tell this drab what ‘tis to love.

It is made of saigs and tears, And so I am for Buffy.

And I for Buffy

And I for vampish Xander

And I for Joan.

And I for no woman, but for the self
That wears an ass’ face.

Into hey, nonny, nonny

And I for Adam

And I for Glory

Most sweet King

Nay, pray you, seek no colour for your going,
But bid farewell, and go: when you sued staying,
Then was the time for words: no going then;
Eternity was in our lips and eyes,
Bliss in our brows' bent; none our parts so poor,
But was a race of heaven: they are so still,
Or thou, the greatest soldier of the world,
Art turn'd the greatest liar.
To deny my key that would turn thy lock.

How now, lord!

I would I had thy chest; thou shouldst know
There were a heart in Nilus.

Quarrel no more, but be prepared to know
The purposes I bear; which are, or cease,
As you shall give the advice. By the fire
That quickens Nilus' slime, I go from hence
Thy soldier, servant; making peace or war
As thou affect'st.

'Tis sweating labourTo bear such idleness so near the heart
As Adam this. But, madam, forgive me;
Since my becomings kill me, when they do not
And all the gods, like you, go with you!
Upon your sword sit laurel victory!
And smooth success be strew'd before your feet!

[Exit Adam and Glory]

Hey!

There's things that you guess
And things that you know
There's girls that you can trust
And girls that you don't
I swear I won't tease you
Won't tell you no lies
Every woman's got her patience
And here's where my ends
I want your sex
I want your love
I want your.....sex
C-c-c-c-come on.

[Exit Anyanka and Vamp Xander]

Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed,
While I thy amiable cheeks do coy,
And stick musk-roses in thy sleek smooth head,
And kiss thy fair large ears, my gentle joy.

This man is Genius to the myself;
My face, while I wear that of an ass,
You stole my face, Hey!

What, wilt thou hear some music,my sweet love?

[Exuent Donkey Headed Xander of Sunnydale pursued by Xander of Oxnard]

More wonderful, when angels are so angry.
Vouchsafe, divine perfection of a woman,
Of these supposed-evils, to give me leave,
By circumstance, but to acquit myself.

Vouchsafe, defused infection of a man,
For these known evils, but to give me leave,
By circumstance, to curse thy cursed self.

Was ever woman in this humour woo'd?
Was ever woman in this humour won?
I'll have her; but I will not keep her long.
What! I, that kill'd her,
To take her in her heart's extremest hate,
With curses in her mouth, tears in her eyes,
The bleeding witness of her hatred by;
Having God, her conscience, and these bars
against me,
And I nothing to back my suit at all,
But the plain devil and dissembling looks,
And yet to win her, all the world to nothing!
Ha!

Love makes you do the wacky, But this?

O, from what power hast thou this powerful might
With insufficiency my heart to sway?
To make me give the lie to my true sight,
And swear that brightness doth not grace the day?
Whence hast thou this becoming of things ill,
That in the very refuse of thy deeds
There is such strength and warrantize of skill
That, in my mind, thy best all worst exceeds?
Who taught thee how to make me love thee more
The more I hear and see just cause of hate?
O, though I love what others do abhor,
With others thou shouldst not abhor my state:
If thy worthiness raised love in me,
More worthy I to be beloved of thee.

My will is even this:
That presently you hie you home to bed.
Thou subtle, perjured, false, disloyal man!
Think'st thou I am so shallow, so conceitless,
To be seduced by thy flattery,
For me, by this pale queen of night I swear,
I am so far from granting thy love
That I despise thee for thy wrongful suit,
And by and by intend to chide myself
Even for this time I spend in talking to thee.

O Buffy, goddess, nymph, perfect, divine!
To what, my love, shall I compare thine eyne?
Crystal is muddy. O, how ripe in show
Thy lips, those kissing cherries, tempting grow!
That pure congealed white, high Taurus snow,
Fann'd with the eastern wind, turns to a crow
When thou hold'st up thy hand: O, let me kiss
This princess of pure white, this seal of bliss!

O spite! O hell! I see you all are bent
To set against me for your merriment:
If you we re civil and knew courtesy,
You would not do me thus much injury.
Can you not hate me, as I know you do,
But you must join in souls to mock me too?
To vow, and swear, and super praise my parts,
When I am sure you hate me with your hearts.
A trim exploit, a manly enterprise,
To conjure tears up in a poor maid's eyes
With your derision! none of noble sort
Would so offend a maid, and extort
A poor soul's patience, all to make you sport.

You are unkind, Spike; be not so;
For you love Drucilla; this you know I know:
And here, with all good will, with all my heart,
In Buffy's love I yield you up my slaying;
And yours of Buffy to me bequeath,
Whom I do love and will do till my death.

[Faith and Spike fight]

[Exit Buffy pursued by Faith and Spike]

[Enter Buffybot]

Hellloo, helloo, is anyone here?

I’m looking for me.
Have you seen me?
Okay, bye now.

[Exit Buffybot]